I think that fighting is healthy.  Or at least disagreements are healthy.  I’m pretty sure that, on some level, everyone in the world just wants to feel misunderstood (RADICAL DECLARATIONS).  After all, if your view isn’t unique, then why are you just standing there, sucking up the precious little clean air left in the world (see: China right now)?

It’s not an enjoyable process, and yelling isn’t recommended (due to both its lack of effectiveness, as well as the fact that it’s fucking obnoxious), but experiencing arguments so that you know how the other person comes out on the other end of the argument is pretty important.  If you still like one another after you’ve hated one another, then you’ve really got something.  This goes for relationships, friendships, co-workers…whatever.  The ability to maintain a certain level of perspective and control yourself in a way which enables both parties to adequately recover and move on is a course they should really teach in high school (SUCH BISHES).

When it comes to relationships, I say you don’t really know your partner until you’ve directed all of your life anger at them due to one trivial thing, and they’ve shrugged it off.  That’s how you know you’ve found someone you truly don’t deserve, and will therefore be happy with. How do I know? Because this kind of emotional intelligence is pretty rare, and the quest to find something rare (FOR KEEPS) is almost as strong as the compulsion to be misunderstood (ALL OF THE DECLARATIONS).

Why? Because these sorts of quibbles are always going to come up in relationships – and even more so as you let go of your firm grasp on freedom.  They’re there…that’s the only reason. Well, also because the better you get to know someone, the better they understand you (REMEMBER THAT TIME I TOLD YOU HUMANS LIKE TO BE MISUNDERSTOOD?).

The good news is, you can always compile a list of all the stupid things you’ve argued about, share it with your friends for their enjoyment, and realize that only someone this truly perfect for you would be willing to go to the mattresses for such random reasons.

Reasons such as:

  • Kanye West (even though we both love him, we disagree on his motivations)
  • J eating all the gummy bears
  • J specifically walking through the house with muddy shoes on, in an effort to consume said gummy bears
  • My denial of the existence of Swiffer in the house
  • J’s confirmation of the existence of Swiffer in the house
  • “Why do you keep trying to have sex as soon as you come over? Do you think I’m some kind of whore?”
  • “Why do you wait so long to have sex with me when you come over? Don’t you think I’m attractive?”
  • Why I won’t turn the heat on in the house (even though I don’t pay for heat)
  • Why J won’t dress warmer in the house
  • Whether or not George W. Bush had any real power in office
  • The REAL theme song for “My Little Pony”
  • The necessity of peas in a daily diet
  • The necessity of an end table
  • The proper way to pull up a duvet cover which doesn’t properly fit a duvet
  • Why the fuck I bought a duvet cover which doesn’t properly fit a duvet
  • Why J won’t watch the Sopranos
  • Whether or not a dishwasher can be trusted
  • Why J drinks the water that I specifically leave sitting in a glass on the counter to remind me to drink water and, what, does he want me to die of dehydration or something?
  • Why I would want to sign up for Mars One and no it has nothing to do with my commitment issues and it would just be really fun and leave me alone

So argue, good humans, and remember – the only My Little Ponies that matter are Generation One, and the other ones are stupid with their long legs and LONG LIVE LICKITY SPLIT AND HER QUEST TO GO IT ALONE.

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